Funny quotes about teacher
Dylan Moran quotesThe careers teacher told me I had a clear choice: if I didn't end up going to university I'd end up robbing post offices.
Woody Allen quotesI had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
Jim Gaffigan quotesYou think when gym teachers were younger, they're thinking, "You know, I want to teach...but I don't want to read. How about kickball for 40 years?"
Maria Bamford quotesI was in a lot of plays. We had a weird drama teacher in that he was incredibly enthusiastic about a high school drama program and would talk to all the kids for hours. He ended up marrying one of the kids, but that's neither here nor there.
Fred Allen quotes
George Burns quotesSmartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
Ted Alexandro quotesSo, I used to be a music teacher. I used to teach K-5 music here in New York City. I taught the recorder. Are you guys familiar with Satan's little flute? If there's music in Hell, I assure you, it is played on a recorder.
I always loved art teachers because they were so bizarre. They were like the homeless people of the faculty -- all disheveled, wearing smocks, covered in paint, always digging through the garbage, looking for bottles and egg cartons and things.
Zach Galifianakis quotesDo you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was reading online that he died today. He died from hi-fiveing.
Jeff Foxworthy quotesI have two daughters. I live next door to my brother, who has three daughters, so almost every day, I have to drive them to school. And last year, while I was driving them to school, we ran out of gas in the carpool lane because my wife does not realize it's actually legal for women to purchase gasoline, so... But we run out of gas and people are honking the horn and having to back up and go around and the kids are mortified. So the next morning, when I took them, I made sure that tank was as full as it could possibly be, and I pull up to the front of the school, and they have these assistant teachers that help open the door. And I'm not even trying to be funny. I roll down the passenger window and yell out, "I've got gas this morning!"
Bill Engvall quotesI've come up with the three things you never want to hear at your kid's parent/teacher conference. Number one: "You're only responsible for the first $10,000 worth of damage." Number two: "We have medication for this." And number three: "It was more than an ounce and he was less than a hundred yards from the school."
Noel Fielding quotes
Charles 'Chic' Murray quotesI won’t say I was slow developer, but our teacher was quite pleased to have someone her own age in the class to talk to.
Lenny Bruce quotesThat's where the conflict starts. We all want for a wife a combination Sunday school teacher and a $500-a-night hooker.
