Boundaries
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
Indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.
Psalm 16:6: Holman Version
Although the Feast of
Tabernacles is primarily a spiritual
feast, God commanded that it should also have an enjoyable physical aspect. In this
regard, here is how He commands us to use our “Second Tithe” funds:
You shall truly tithe all the increase of your grain that the field produces year by year…. and you shall spend that money for whatever your heart desires: for oxen or sheep, for wine or similar drink, for whatever your heart desires; you shall eat there before the LORD your God, and you shall rejoice, you and your household. (Deuteronomy 14:22, 26)
As we prepare for the Feast
each year – perhaps especially our young people and those with young families
– we take time to plan enjoyable physical activities… for example:
- Let’s go to “Chuck E. Cheese’s” or “Going Bonkers”!
- Let’s go to “Six
Flags” in
- Let’s bike the
- Let’s shop till we drop
at the Columbia Mall!
- Let’s get a golf game in!
- Let’s visit the
These are all great plans!
But do you sometimes find during the Feast that the reality fails to meet
your expectations? That your time is
not your own? That despite all your
plans, you meet new or old friends and your plans change… to what they
like to do?
Now, of course, this is not
normally a bad thing. It is great to
change our plans in order to live God’s “way of give” at the Feast! But
let us change the scene. What about
back home – both before and after the Feast of Tabernacles?
Do you ever find that other people make some, or many, or even most of your plans and decisions for you?
Do you ever find that other people are to some extent running your
life?
Again, modifying our
schedules to serve others is a very fine thing; but it can be taken too far, and
our personal boundaries can be violated.
This is what I would like to
discuss in this article: Boundaries!
The “Boundaries” Book
My wife and I have been
reading a book entitled, “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John
Townsend. We would highly recommend
this book to all of our readers, with a very few and very minor reservations.
Despite a few Protestant-sounding phrases, the general advice in this
book is excellent, soundly Bible-based common sense.
Although I would like to
draw from the “Boundaries” book in this article, I do not want to attempt
the impossible by trying to condense the book’s contents into a short article.
Rather, let me once again recommend that you read it for yourself.
What I would like to do in this
article is this:
In the first half of the article, I would like to briefly cover some examples of
boundary violations that can take place in God’s church, and give a short
overview of how the recommendations of this book fit in with Biblical principles
and with God’s way of life.
In the second half, I would like to concentrate on the most important
relationship of all, and its boundaries.
Quotes from the Book’s Introduction
The book’s
attention-grabbing sub-title is “When to say ‘Yes’ and when to say
‘No’… to take control of your life.”
To give you some idea of the
book’s contents, here are a few excerpts from its introduction and overview:
-
Are
you in control of your life?
-
Do
people take advantage of you?
-
Do
you have trouble saying ‘No’?
A boundary is a personal property line,
and marks things for which we are responsible.
Boundaries impact all areas of our lives,
for example:
·
Physical
boundaries help us determine who may touch us
·
Mental
boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts
·
Emotional
boundaries help us with our own emotions,
· Spiritual boundaries help us distinguish God's will from our own.
Christians often focus so much on loving
and giving to others that we sometimes forget our own limitations.
Have you ever found yourself wondering:
·
Can
I set limits and still be a loving person?
·
What
are my legitimate boundaries?
·
How
do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy or money?
·
Why
do I feel guilty when I consider setting boundaries?
Beware of Controllers and other Boundary
Violators!
In my life so far, I have
found that there certainly are “controllers” out there – controlling-type
people, boundary violators, people who are not satisfied with controlling their
own lives; but are seemingly able to find the time and energy to desire some
level of control over others’ lives
too!
And this is not limited to
people “in the world.” There are
some controlling people in God’s church too!
Controllers in the church seem to feel that, because we are all spiritual
brothers and sisters, they somehow have the right to treat other church members
as they treat their own physical siblings; or that they have the God-given right
to take similar liberties with you and me as they do with their own physical
siblings. Of course, they should not
be taking such liberties with their physical siblings either!
Such problems seemed to be
perhaps more prevalent back in the 1980’s, when our Worldwide Church of God (
Perhaps that was the problem – or a big part of it.
Perhaps some of the new people were not leaving “the world” outside
the “gates” in our church boundaries. Perhaps
they were not being required to! Perhaps
some of the new people were bringing their worldly standards in with them.
Perhaps the church leadership was so excited and overcome by the numbers
of new “converts,” that they did not have the time or the energy to monitor
the new people. Perhaps the
leadership was not strict enough on the enforcement of our long-standing church
rules and boundaries as they had been in earlier years.
Church
Boundaries Violated
For there are certain men crept in
unawares, who were before of old ordained to this condemnation, ungodly men,
turning the grace of our God into lasciviousness, and denying the only Lord God,
and our Lord Jesus Christ. (Jude 4)
Ungodly men – and women
too – have at times crept unawares into God’s modern day church too, and
have penetrated the church’s God-ordained boundaries.
Some of them have turned God’s grace into lasciviousness –
If the advised person
chose not to follow the strongly-worded recommendations of the self-styled
“expert advisor,” quite often, the result led to offended feelings.
Still thinking about the
1980s, some church members seemed to think that they were experts on this, that
or the other thing, and had the freedom to force their so-called “expertise”
on others. This seemed especially
common in the fields of child-rearing and health-care.
We had a prevalence of self-appointed, unqualified naturopaths, first-aid
attendants and other types of pseudo health “experts.”
Sadly, this continues in various branches of God’s church to this day;
and it can be a very dangerous tendency. Yes,
literally!
In one congregation we
attended, a man took a short training course from some bogus study-by-mail
“university” and obtained a phony degree and doctorate in kinesiology.
Soon after receiving his phony credentials, he began “treating” some
church members, including a lady church member who suffered with some severe
health problems. This sweet lady’s
condition deteriorated to the point of imminent death and she was admitted to
hospital. As she lay in what would
shortly become her death-bed, this crackpot “doctor” visited her and yelled
abuse at her for putting herself in the hands of “the evil perpetrators of
orthodox medicine.” Is this how
God wants His children to treat (or rather “mis-treat” or “disrespect”)
each other? Of course not!
Still during the late 1980s
and early 1990s, our local congregation suffered two instances of the most
flagrant and abominable kind of boundary violation
– that of sexual abuse of children!
Do we church members rejoice
– perhaps somewhat prematurely – each time a new person asks to attend our
church services? Do we welcome
people to attend our services before they have been made adequately aware of our
(or rather God’s) doctrines,
long-standing church standards and “ground-rules”?
We might think that by doing so, we are extending Christian love to the
new people. But perhaps doing so
without caution might lead to a partial neglect for the comfort and feelings of
our long-time, existing church members. In
some cases, this can bring with it an automatic penalty!
Are controlling behaviours
and other types of boundary violations acceptable to God?
Of course they are not!
Types of Relationships and their
Associated Boundaries
Here are a few examples of
relationships in a Christian’s personal life; relationships we would be wise
to place proper boundaries around –
·
You – alone
(Take an pen and paper, write down the
word “me,” and draw a circle around it)
·
You and your spouse
(Write “Me and Ermintrude”(or whatever
your spouse’s name is) and draw a circle around the two names)
· You and your spouse and your children
· You and your parents
· You and your extended family (e.g. your grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.)
· You, your spouse and your in-laws
· You, your spouse and your non-church friends and neighbours
· You, your spouse and your fellow church brethren
·
You and God the Father and Jesus
Christ
For example, the boundary
around yourself and your spouse has certain rules that apply to it.
A different set of rules applies to the boundary around your relationship
with your children. A different set
of rules applies to the boundary around your relationship with God.
And so on!
Now here are a few examples
of boundary violations:
·
Spousal abuse – whether physical,
emotional or whatever – is a totally unacceptable violation of the personal
boundaries of your spouse,
·
Children have the right to a
certain level of boundaries. Excessive
discipline is nothing less than child abuse.
As well as being a serious transgression of the law of God and the law of
the land, it is a serious violation of a child’s personal boundaries,
·
Disrespect for parents is a
violation of their boundaries – as well as being a violation of God’s fifth
commandment.
In all of this, please do
not think that I am saying that we should not live God’s way of give, or that
we should not sacrifice as is appropriate. Of
course we should be doing these things; but in a controlled way.
We can and we must set up, maintain and defend our own personal
boundaries, and we must respect the personal boundaries of others.
Also, it is advisable to
build “gates” into our boundaries, through which people who we
allow to enter may enter. More on this
later.
But are Boundaries Biblical?
Where in the Bible does God
tell us to set boundaries around ourselves and what belongs to us?
A few scriptures come
immediately to mind. Protective
walls, fences and hedges were very important to the people of Bible times.
There are 234 mentions of “walls” in the King James Version of
God’s Word, as well as 39 mentions of “fences” and 18 mentions of
“hedges.”
We read in the book of
Nehemiah that, among the first priorities of the Jews after returning to
What about personal
walls, boundaries and gates? Nine
times in His Word, God tells us to love our neighbours as ourselves (Leviticus
Both Jesus and James tell us that we should “Let our no be no!”
(Matthew 5:37; James 5:12)
God also tells us through
the apostle Paul:
No one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. (Ephesians 5:29)
And through John:
God Family Boundaries
So far, we have seen that we
need to maintain care and control over our own lives.
Now we part company with the “Boundaries” book, in order to examine
one area where we need to give up control.
In John’s gospel account,
the human Jesus frequently declared that He enjoyed perfect unity with His
Father. There were just two Members
of the God Family at that time – with solid boundaries placed firmly around
them!
As Jesus drew close to end
of His human sojourn, He clearly saw His oneness with His Father:
Behold, the hour comes, yes, is now come,
that you shall be scattered, every man to his own, and shall leave me alone: and
yet I am not alone, because the Father is with me.
(John 16:32)
Please note that God the
Father was with Jesus! No
Trinity! Just Jesus and His Father
– in perfect unity. Earlier, Jesus
made another similarly worded statement:
And yet if I do judge, my judgment is
true; for I am not alone, but I am with the Father who sent me.
(John 8:16)
Jesus was with the
Father! And the Father was with
Jesus! When I read this, I visualize
a “boundary circle” with both God the Father and Jesus in it.
Again, these two comprised the complete God Family at that time.
Now, going right back to the
beginning of eternity:
No man has seen God {the
Father}
at any time. The only begotten Son,
which is in the bosom of the Father, He has declared Him.
(John 1:18)
Jesus was and is in the
bosom of the heavenly Father. Here I
respectfully picture God the Father with a “boundary circle” in His chest
– and with Jesus inside that circle.
By
the way, these word pictures are not mine. They
are Jesus’. Also, my
visualizations are abstract, and so I am not breaking God’s second
commandment. I am not trying to
envisage what the Father or the glorified Jesus actually look like!
If you prefer, we can just use the initials “F” and “J” in our
boundary circle diagrams. This is
detail enough.
I and my Father are one… Though you
believe not me, believe the works: that you may know, and believe, that the
Father is in me, and I in Him. (John
10:30, 38)
Here I visualize two images:
1.
Jesus with His Father in Him, and
2.
God the Father with Jesus in Him.
What I see here is God the
Father and Jesus Christ as exceptionally diverse Spirit Beings – so
exceedingly dynamic in ways that we humans cannot yet fully comprehend.
Their “boundary circles” change and move back and forth as they find
necessary. This same, amazing double
or twin “boundary circle” reappears in:
Believe you not that I am in the Father,
and the Father in me? The words that
I speak unto you I speak not of myself: but the Father that dwells in me, He
does the works. Believe me that I am
in the Father, and the Father in me: or else believe me for the very works’
sake. (John 14:10-11)
Jesus repeats this for
emphasis, so it must be important for us to note!
Christians invited within God’s
Boundaries
I will not leave you orphans; I will come
to you…
He is talking to His
disciples – and to us!...
A little while longer and the world will
see me no more. But you will see me.
Because I live, you will live also. At
that day you shall know that I am in my Father…
Now here comes the expansion
– the huge change!…
And you in me, and I in you.
Here Jesus is giving us this
picture:
i)
Jesus in His Father,
ii)
Jesus’ disciples and us
– members of His church – in Jesus,
iii)
Jesus in us!
This is a hard diagram for
us to draw on our papers! Circle
number 1 – the outer circle – represents God the Father.
Circle number 2 represents Jesus, and is inside circle number 1.
Circle number 3 represents the disciples and the members of God’s
church, and is inside circle number 2. Then
Jesus again is inside circle number 3!
Amazing? Yes! Impossible? Physically, yes! With God, no! Jesus here seems to be giving us something like an advance glimpse into eternity, and into the humanly incomprehensible, dynamic nature of God.
Jesus is telling us here
that He and His Father have built “gates” into their boundaries –
carefully controlled gates, of course. He
is also telling us that they are very willing and desirous to welcome certain
people – people of their choosing – through their “gates” and onto their
“property” – into their “boundary circle” and even into their Family!
Abiding in God’s Abode
There is more!
This gets even more astounding! Still
in John 14, now on to verse 23:
Jesus answered and said unto him… {i.e.
Judas Thaddeus-Lebbaus}… “If a
man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will
come unto him, and make our abode with him.”
Remember earlier that we
read about Jesus saying that His Father was with Him, and that He was with
His Father? Here we read that God
the Father and Jesus will also be with us!
So now let us picture a
“boundary circle” containing a Christian with God the Father and Jesus…
within their abode.
How can this be?
How can this come to pass? How
can human beings be allowed to enter within God’s boundaries and share their
abode with them? What makes this
possible?
Jesus gives us the answer in
this same verse. Love is the key!
Love coupled with obedience – i.e. the keeping of His words.
Reciprocal love between the two primary Members of the God Family and
their chosen ones. Love is the
catalyst that pulls it all together and makes it possible.
Jesus says that, if a person
will love Him and keep His words, that His Father will love that person.
Also, that Jesus and the Father will come to that person, and make their
home with him or her. What a
promise!
Jesus expands on this in the
following chapter (15) where He talks about us following His example, keeping
His commandments, and continuing in and abiding in His love:
As the Father has loved me, so have I
loved you: continue you in my love. If
you keep my commandments, you shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my
Father’s commandments, and abide in His love.
(John 15:9-10)
Here, the Christian is
pictured as abiding in Jesus’ love, and Jesus pictures Himself as abiding in
His Father’s love.
Jesus passes on the perfect
love He receives from His Father to His (Jesus’) brothers and sisters.
Belongings and Possessions
Now let us move on into the
next chapter (John 16) in a very similar vein:
All things that the Father has are mine.
Therefore I said that He will take of mine and declare it to you.
(John 16:15)
Here, Jesus is talking about
all the things that the Father has –
His belongings and possessions – which are jointly-owned by Jesus.
Our
physical belongings – the things that are ours – are normally kept on our
property, in our homes or on our land, within the boundaries of our property.
We share our belongings with others as we
see fit. So it is with God!
Jesus is telling us here
that all that belongs to the Father is His
(Jesus’) too, because His Father gave these things to Him – the Father
shared these things with Him. Jesus
is also telling us that God the Father will take what belongs to Jesus and will
reveal it all to us. They will let
us in on their precious secrets!
Jesus and His Father share
everything, and they want to share it all with those who love them, and who
desire to abide with them in their abode – so becoming additional members of God’s household and Family.
Here we continue reading
Jesus’ words about ownership, about the Father sharing His possessions with
Jesus, and about Jesus sharing His possessions with us.
Let us quickly skim through
some of the relevant verses:
As you … {i.e. God the Father}…
have given Him… {i.e. Me – Jesus}…
authority over all flesh, that He should give eternal life to as many as
you have given Him…. I have
glorified you on the earth. I have
finished the work which you have given me to do.
And now, O Father, glorify me together with yourself, with the glory
which I had with you before the world was. I
have manifested your name to the men whom you have given me out of the
world. They were yours, you gave
them to me, and they have kept your word.
Now they have known that all things which you have given me are
from you. For I have given to
them the words which you have given me; and they have received
them. I pray for them. I
do not pray for the world but for those whom you have given me, for they
are yours. And all mine
are yours, and yours are mine.
Now I am no longer in the world, but these are in the world, and I come
to you. Holy Father, keep
through your name those whom you have given me, that they may be one as
we are. While I was with them in the
world, I kept them in your name. Those
whom you gave me I have kept… I have given them your
word… And the glory which you gave me I have given them, that
they may be one just as we are one… Father,
I desire that they also whom you gave me may be with me where I am, that
they may behold my glory which you have given me; (John
17:2, 4-12, 14, 22, 24)
All this is the giving,
receiving, sharing and keeping of God’s possessions!
Now let us back up, and see
again how desirous God is to bring us within His boundaries, into the unity of
His Family, and to give us all of these wonderful things:
Now I am no longer in the world, but
these are in the world, and I come to you. Holy
Father, keep through your name… {i.e. the name of the God Family…the
It is visualization time
again! Jesus is represented here as
the “outer boundary circle. God
the Father is in Jesus.
Jesus is in the Father.
God’s people are unified together, and we are in
the Father and in Jesus!
Continuing:
Here, God’s chosen people
are the “outer circle.” Jesus is
in us.
And God the Father is in Him!
Here, within the space of
two short verses, the order is all turned around!
Once again, we see this amazing dynamism of God!
This is not psychology. This
is what we might call “God language”! These
are the power-charged words of Jesus Christ communicating directly with His
Father! Continuing in the second
half of verse 23:
… that they may be made perfect in one,
and that the world may know that you have sent me, and have loved them as you
have loved me. (Verse 23b)
Here is that essential
ingredient again – the love of God. But
what love! Jesus declares here that,
despite our imperfections, His Father loves us just as He loves Jesus Himself!
Invited through God’s Gates
Father, I desire that they also whom you
gave me may be with me where I am, that they may behold my glory which you have
given me; for you loved me before the foundation of the world.
(Verse 24)
Here, Jesus is, in effect, asking His Father to open the “gates” in the fence (or boundary) around the God Family’s property.
Why?
To admit the people His Father has given Him – to enter onto their
property – onto the God Family property.
Is this not the very
ultimate of what the Feast of Tabernacles and the Last Great Day are all about?
Perhaps there are two
(perhaps even more) “stages” of God’s chosen ones passing through the
“gates” in God’s boundaries and entering onto His property.
Whenever we go onto another
person’s property – when we pass through his gates and within his boundaries
– we become subject to the owner’s rules.
So it is with God.
We went through the “Stage
1 Gate” at the time of our conversion and baptism, when we answered God’s
call, accepted His loving and merciful invitation, went through His gate, passed
within His boundaries, and onto His property.
At that time we lost control over our lives.
Hopefully, we did not actually lose
it. Hopefully, we gave it up
voluntarily – we gave up the control of our lives to God the Father and Jesus
Christ.
But Jesus does not yet want
His Father to take us out of our physical bodies (which are pictured by the
apostle Paul as houses or properties). Not
yet anyway. Not in “Stage 1”:
I pray not that you should take them out
of the world, but that you should keep them from the evil one.
(Verse 15)
In “Stage 2” we will
gladly give up our humanity, and we will pass from our present physical
properties, houses and bodies to new spiritual properties, houses and bodies:
For we know that if our earthly house of
this tabernacle were dissolved, we have a building of God, an house not made
with hands, eternal in the heavens. (II
Corinthians 5:1)
These “heavenly houses”
are the well-known “many mansions” and “places” that Jesus speaks of
back in John 14:2. But continuing in
verse 2 of II Corinthians 5:
For in this we groan, earnestly desiring
to be clothed upon with our house which is from heaven, if so be that being
clothed we shall not be found naked. For
we that are in this tabernacle do groan, being burdened: not for that we would
be unclothed, but clothed upon, that mortality might be swallowed up of life.
Now He that has wrought… {shaped;
fashioned}…
us for the selfsame thing is God, who also has given unto us the earnest of the
Spirit. Therefore we are always
confident, knowing that, whilst we are at home in the body, we are absent from
the Lord. (Verses 2-6)
As his words were inspired
by God, we can forgive Paul for mixing his metaphors here – clothes,
tabernacles and houses! God is
telling us that our humanity causes something of a barrier between us and God
– a barrier which prevents a 100% totally complete relationship with Him.
But this is acceptable, because He is the One who made us human and
physical! Continuing in verse 7:
For we walk by faith, not by sight.
We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body,
and to be present with the Lord.
Let us summarize to this
point. It is right and good for us
to maintain solid boundaries in our relationships with our human families,
friends, neighbours and church brethren. But
as long as we are chained to these physical “buildings” of our mortal
bodies, we must build “gates” into our personal fences and boundaries, and
we must freely and gladly open them to admit God the Father and Jesus Christ.
Conversely, let us
thankfully accept God’s invitation to enter His gates, and to pass within His
boundaries, onto His property and into His abode:
Enter into His gates with thanksgiving,
and into His courts with praise. Be
thankful to Him, and bless His name. (Psalms
100:4)
Open to me the gates of righteousness; I
will go through them, and I will praise the Lord.
(Psalms 118:19)
Let us yearn for the day
when Jesus comes to repossess His property here on this earth, and to set up the
fulness of His Kingdom, in preparation for the day when His gates will be lifted
up and all boundaries will be taken down – the wonderful day of the arrival of
God the Father:
Lift up your heads, O you gates! And
be lifted up, you everlasting doors! And
the King of Glory shall come in. Who
is this King of Glory? The LORD
strong and mighty, the LORD mighty in battle.
Lift up your heads, O you gates! Lift
up, you everlasting doors! And the
King of Glory shall come in. Who is
this King of Glory? The LORD of
hosts, He is the King of Glory. (Psalms
24:7-10)
Feast of Tabernacles
–