Where it all began.
(K’s side)
Online dating sucks. Let’s just put that out there right away. I like to think myself a fairly optimistic individual, but after a few years of repeatedly meeting the wrong people, I had convinced myself that there were literally no “good ones” left.
As I sat in my oldest friend’s backyard, in a particularly dark place, I congratulated her for meeting her boyfriend when she did, and declared she had met the last nice human on earth, I was done. Just, done. Done with dating apps, done putting myself out there, done defending who I was via text message to a stranger.
But she has known me my entire life, and she pushed, told me not to give up. She tried to get me to try one last time, and use an app I hadn’t tried before. At first I refused, but after a few hours by the fire, and a couple of glasses of wine, I gave it a go.
I remember I hadn’t even completely my profile yet when the messages started to arrive... “Hey beautiful, how’s your night?” “Hi sexy, what are you up to?” it felt endless, and it was ALL the same. The same poses, the same faces, the same messages. I threw my phone across her lawn. “I can’t... I CANNOT! I HATE this!!” She calmly watched my tantrum and said, “just talk to a couple of them, all you need to do is talk to them.”
I sat, with her over my shoulder, reading messages. “Nope, nope, no, I don’t like that one...” and then there was a message. A totally normal, regular message. It wasn’t like the rest, it was sweet and humble, and pointed out how hard it was to put yourself out there, and asked me to be kind. It was different.
So I responded. And so did he. And I soon learned that not only was that first message different, but he was different.
My lesson in all this? Don’t give up. Try something different. And have someone to remind you the “good ones” do still exist.