CONFIDENCE  – FAITH – STRENGTH

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Romans 8:37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Isaiah 40:31 but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;   they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary;   they shall walk and not faint.

Matthew 19:26 But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Mark 9:23 And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.”

Matthew 17:20  He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”

DISCIPLINE – READINESS – SELF-CONTROL

Psalm 37:5  Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act.

Colossians 3:23-24 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.

1Timothy 4:8 for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.

2 Timothy 4:2 …be ready in season and out of season…

1Corinthians 9:24-27  Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it.  Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we van imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.

Hebrews 12:11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Psalm 144:1 Of David. Blessed be the Lord, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle;

Psalm 18:32-34  the God who equipped me with strength and made my way blameless. He made my feet like the feet of a deer  and set me secure on the heights. He trains my hands for war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

Ephesians 6:13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.

1 Peter 1:13 Therefore, prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

RESILIENCE – PERSEVERANCE – ENDURANCE

2 Timothy 4:7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

Matthew 26:41 …the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

John 16:33  I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

2 Corinthians 4:16-18  So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,  as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Success

noun suc·cess \sək-ˈses\

REDEFINING SUCCESS?

Recently I had the privilege of watching a video about redefining success. In it, an accomplished dancer explains how her pursuit of success didn’t necessarily accomplish contentment or joy in her life. After looking at what the dictionary definition of success was, she was inclined to challenge whether the definition of success, as it currently stands, truly makes someone successful. The pursuit and accomplishment of success as it currently is defined certainly made her a success by definition, but did not leave her feeling successful. Having reworked her views on what makes her a success, and more importantly what makes her feel like a success, she’s now advocating for a redefinition. You can watch her explain all of this in a video I’ve attached at the bottom of this posting.

Having performed at a high level in my field, and having grown up around a family of definitively successful people, I sympathized with her thoughts almost immediately. In fact, the person who sent the video to me is someone who his flying up the corporate ladder in the field of accounting, after having had an already prominent career representing her country on the Canadian Women’s National Basketball Team. Continued success, or at least the continued pursuit of success, has left both her and I questioning how we define success. Does being rich, respected and reputable encapsulate a degree of success that we hope to attain?

After giving it thought, and with all due respect to the person in the video featured below, I don’t know if redefining success is necessarily the answer. I began by looking carefully at how Miriam Webster defines success, and then compared it against my expectation and understanding of what success should entail. When something seems amiss it helps to compare both the expression of a thought and the understanding of it, to evaluate which of the two ends of the exchange is erring. If I assume that the my understanding of success is impermeable, then the expectations that I hold about feeling successful will cause me to look at the current definition of success and call for a rewrite. But, if for a moment I humbly assume that each person may hold a different expectation and understanding of success, then by consequence my individual perspective can’t possibly warrant a rewrite in that it excludes those who may not see success the way I do. So if my understanding of success is questionable, it beckons me to reconsider the precise elements of success by its current definition.

RESULTS vs. REACTIONS

Yes, success is defined by wealth, respect and fame; but the secondary definition reads that success is also qualified by being, “the correct or desired result of an attempt.” As such, success isn’t a feeling, it’s a result; this is an important distinction. Now, some reading this might propose, “What if my desired result is to feel positive, good or successful? Success must be both a result and a feeling.” Though this follows a logical rationale, I would argue that we are risk of conflating objective and subjective outcomes. Success is measured by the increase of wealth, respect and fame relative to other people measured in the same areas. Feeling positive, good or any other feeling in regard to your success is purely subjective. Someone who with $100  is given $1000. Another person with $1,000,000 is also given $1000. Both have increased by the exact same measure of wealth; but one of these two feels a much greater level of excitement and pleasure regarding their increase in success, while the other is relatively indifferent. In this example we see that both persons achieve the same result, but each of them react to this result in two different ways. Success, as a result, does not also predicate a complementary feeling; the reactions we have in regard to our success are personal choices that depend on a wide array of subjective variables. I believe misappropriating feelings as a result rather than a reaction is often why the positive feelings we hope to achieve in the pursuit of success evade us.

As an example, you can set out to watch a comedy show with the hopes that you will leave later that night feeling happy; but feeling happy is a reaction to the show, not a result. The result you’re truly looking for is to be entertained, whether that comedian is good or not. People who think happiness is results based will hinge their happiness on the success of the comedian, and if he or she bombs, will leave the show feeling disappointed because they’ve tried to make happiness something quantifiable: X amount of good jokes = Y amount of laughter = Z amount of happiness. But in thinking in a results based way, it is impossible for the value of ‘Z’ to be anything more than ‘Y’ or ‘X’ because ‘Z’ is a result contingent upon correlational values of ‘Y’ and ‘X.’ Allowing your feelings to be governed this way is founded on “if-then” type statements: “If the comedian is funny, then I will feel happy.” Results based happiness externalizes your source of happiness; you are depending on conditions outside of yourself to generate a feeling. You’re a victim to an outcome. But, If happiness is a reaction to a result, then whether the comedian is great or horrible, you choose how happy you would like to be. Reaction based happiness gives you agency. You decide for yourself how happy you are regardless of the condition, based upon beliefs that are intrinsic to the very type of person you are. For example, maybe the comedy performance was terrible, but you are the type of person who can find enjoyment in just being out with your friends. If this is the case, you never really needed the show to be good.

What I’m alluding to is that some of us think our feelings are a direct result of the circumstances around us. If you apply that type of thinking to success you’ll find yourself saying, “If only I were wealthier, then I’d feel successful,” or “if only I was more famous, then I’d feel more successful.” If you are depending on a circumstance to result in feeling successful, you removed your own agency from the equation. The problem with this is that if you have never been as successful as you’re hoping to one day feel, then how do you know what it feels like to be successful? When posed this question, many in the pursuit of this feeling will suggest that feeling successful equates to feeling content. But if contentment is indicates that you feel successful, aren’t you actually pursuing contentment and expecting success to produce it for you?

This offers a valuable opportunity to transition into what I think might be the problem, and how we might go about arriving at a solution.

RE-PRIORITIZING

Our current expectation of success is faulty because our understanding of it is faulty. If this is true, then it’s not that success needs redefinition, it’s that we may be pursuing the wrong outcome. What’s surprising about this is that no where in the definition of success are we promised contentment; and yet, for some reason we equate the results of success with being content. Conflating the two deprives us of looking at each independent of one another; but if we can separate the two, we can consider a more appropriate prioritization of contentment and success.

We’ve already shown that success doesn’t necessarily result in contentment, but that contentment is a reaction we must choose for ourselves subjectively. I’d like to make a case, however, for the fact that contentment can result in success. Contentment, because we choose it, can be an elected state of being regardless of circumstance. If this is the case, could it be that a more content lifestyle results in more success? If this is true, it behooves us to consider re-prioritizing contentment over success, rather than pursuing success with the hope that it will produce contentment.

Prioritizing contentment in this way means understanding the agency we have over the way we feel. We cannot fail to understand our responsibility in choosing our reactions, responses and feelings.

REGAINING AGENCY

Choosing contentment gives us the agency and freedom to choose our response to circumstances in a way that success can’t. The way I feel if my feelings are contingent on success are really no choice of mine; I have no freedom to respond in any way that doesn’t directly correlate to the degree of success I’ve achieved. The way I feel if my feeling are contingent on contentment is entirely my choice given that I choose what makes me content. Contentment can exist in the presence or absence of success, and allow me to feel what I choose to feel. For example, I can be dissatisfied with losing a game, and also content with the outcome because my life’s joy isn’t based on that particular outcome; it may instead be based on being content with the prospect of improving. In this case, I see the value of loss and feeling dissatisfied because it enhances my ability to see where I can still improve. In contrast, if my level of joy depends on success or failure, then what I’m saying is that I am content only when I am successful. In this case my contentment is conditional; I must be successful before I am content. Not only this, but the outcome effects the very person I am: winning perpetuates an unhealthy must-win identity that I’ve imposed on myself, and losing directly opposes my sense of being. Choosing to what makes me content regardless of success of failure means that my identity is cemented in affirmations that are independent of circumstance. If I choose to be content with who I am, the abilities I have, the improvements I can make, and my ability to be my best, then whether I win or lose, I can be nothing but content because the result doesn’t change or effect who I am, the abilities I have, the improvements I can make and my ability to be my best. When I choose to be content in these things, I can still be dissatisfied with losing without it hindering my level of contentment; in fact being content gives me more control over how I feel about a circumstance and how I use those feelings. Contented, I have much more nuanced and productive way of dealing with my dissatisfaction. Rather than becoming dismayed, dissatisfaction can be looked at for what it really is: as an indicator that I am aware of my ability to be more successful, and motivation to return my performance a standard I know I can achieve. Thinking this way means that losing reaffirms truths about yourself so that you can refocus on embodying those affirmations. If your focus isn’t on maintaining an impossible standard of perfection, you permit yourself to focus on what you can already do to be more successful. When your contentment isn’t based on a result, you can focus on getting the results you want. Do you see the difference? In one of these two ways, the result has agency over you; but in the other you have agency over the result.

Focusing on success doesn’t ensure that you will be content, if your contentment depends on success alone. However, focusing on contentment, independent of circumstantial influence, can ensure that you will be successful, because both positive and negative experiences serve to enhance and affirm beliefs and truths about yourself that permit you to embody successful behaviours that you know you are capable of.

REQUIREMENTS, REGRETS & RELINQUISHING

Additionally, success as, an end, often demands sacrifice; and sacrifice sometimes requires surrendering what makes you content. You shouldn’t be surprised when in the pursuit of success you have to surrender enjoyable areas of your life in order to obtain the object of your pursuit. When I talk to former athletic successes they often tell me that they retired feeling burnt out; or that they feel like they gave up so much of themselves to be successful; or that they wish they could go back and experience some of the enjoyable things they sacrificed in order for them to be successful. None of these people would trade in their experience of being successful, but almost every one of them, after having achieved success, looks back and wishes that success hadn’t demanded so much of them. And it’s not just athletes who experience this; countless internet stories, books and blockbuster films depict business men and women who thought success would bring them joy. Later they realize that regaining the things they sacrificed on the way to success are the only thing that truly makes them happy. There must be a different way; one that allows you to be content, but also permits the attainment of success

Pursuing contentment over success doesn’t require you to sacrifice in the same way pursuing success alone will. Rather than sacrificing things that make you happy to be successful, to be content you need only relinquish what doesn’t make you happy. To possess a contented self-perspective, the truths you choose to identify you require that you cleave to affirmations that ensure your contentment, and to relinquish assertions that contradict. As an example, I know many people who base their contentment on thinking they are good at everything. When they struggle at something it really rattles their sense of identity, and they have one of two choices: 1) Never do that activity again, and change their affirmation to “I am content at being good at everything I do,” or 2) Accept that there are things they are strong in and things they are weak in, and change their affirmation to “I am content with being good at some things, bad at others, and able to enjoy the process of improving so that I can be good at the things I try.” Neither one of these examples is better or more right than the other (although one may lead to a less reductive existence). Both are contentment centred decisions based on affirmations and rejections. In the first example the person affirms they are good at everything they do and rejects doing anything that would contradict that. In order to experience joy, they’ve let go of doing things they aren’t good at. In the second example, the person affirms strengths, weaknesses and the ability to improve and rejects the assertion that they have to be good at everything. In order to experience joy, this person has relinquished the need to be the best at everything. In both examples, the person affirms what makes them content and lets go of what doesn’t make them happy. By cutting away the things that hold us back from joy, we further refine what makes us content.

When we are content with ourselves and the affirmations we live by, we can work within those affirmations to be more productive. Let’s consider this in light of the above two examples: The person who is content at only doing what they are good at will be productive because they’ve limited themselves to doing only the things they have a strength in. The person who is content in having strengths, weaknesses and the ability to improve will be productive because they will approach all situations with perspective relative to their abilities. Those who are more productive, through the practice of their productivity, become more efficient. Those who are more efficient at being productive discover ways to be successful without sacrificing the things they enjoy.

REALIZING THE SHIFT

If we pursue success expecting it will result in contentment, there are two realities about success preventing us from experiencing our expectation. The first of which is that contentment contingent on success means we can never be more content than the level of success we achieve. Contentment cannot be dependant on a result or we reduce our ability to choose it for ourselves. Secondly, success requires sacrifice, sometimes sacrificing the very things that make you content. You can’t step on the very thing you are reaching for in order to reach it; it would be like ruining all the apples from a tree to make a mountain of apples tall enough to pick the last one from the same tree. In other words, it makes no sense to sacrifice the things that make you truly happy to be successful, in the hopes that being successful will allow you to be truly happy.

In contrast, there are also two realities that should prompt us to re-prioritize contentment as the primary pursuit of our lives. Firstly, if we make contentment our aim then we will learn to recognize the very things that make us content and we will choose them. Regardless of circumstance, we will be the agents deciding how content we wish to be, because by rule our contentment is only contingent on how we define it within ourselves. Secondly, by relinquishing the very things that do not make us content we will learn to refine our contentment. Contentment refined results in a more productive way of being; productivity rehearsed results in efficiency of production; and when we are efficient at being productive, contentment permits us to be successful without sacrificing that which makes us content.

In conclusion, It takes a shift in perspective that is much simpler than the breadth we’ve gone to, to examine it to this point: We must shift from believing success and contentment are the prize at the end of the path, to believing contentment is both the prize and the path, and that to those who walk by it, success is but an immaterial dividend you may choose along the way. We can have both, but it takes the pursuit of contentment over success to possess the agency to choose both for your own life.

Our mind is a tricky place to navigate. The most adept at fairing the miry and tumultuous brain-waves of the mind have been to the edge of rationality and back and asserted silly quotables that are meant make us feel liberated about how we navigate our own thoughts. They say things like “if you can imagine it, you can do it” or “if you can think it, you can be it,” but the complication confronting the average thinker is what we ought make of the various pathways and roadblocks our own mind constructs to protect us. Our own thoughts are taking a stand against our desire to imagine new and exciting realities for ourselves. Imagine for a moment something you are certain you cannot do; now try to imagine yourself doing it, or take it a step further and convince yourself that you can do it. Why not take it one step more and actually convince yourself to attempt doing it? If you are anything like me, red flags go up preventing you from even contemplating the performance of an action that could damage you in any way…even if it would only damage your ego. Why does our mind create these safe guards? Our minds should be a safe place to create interesting ideas about what might be possible and yet as we walk through what we should hope to be wide open spaces for free thought, we instead find ourselves navigating through narrow hallways with various doors, walls and blockades telling where we can and cannot go. It’s nearly impossible to imagine and seize the opportunities to become something we have never been.

Trying to step into a new opportunity is like coming across a door with a sign that says no entry. Our mind is especially good at trying to keep us in areas of our thinking that are familiar. There are countless doors in our head that read the same way: “No Entry.” If you get to a door like this and read no entry and accept the injunction you may not even be bothered to check if it opens to anywhere new. I used to frequent a sports complex where I attended university and I grew especially familiar with the network of hallways and rooms that I felt I was allowed access to. There were, however, a number of doors I used to pass by in that building that has special-access signs associated with them and I never even bothered wondering what lay behind them. I think we do the same thing in our minds; we become so familiar with thoughts that are safe and applicable to ourselves that we don’t bother checking doors that don’t seem to apply to us. In this sports complex there was a system of hallways and staircases that eventually led to a remote corner of the building that was very unassuming. In this remote corner of the building there stood a door and on the door were a number of biohazard caution signs, and boiler room notices. The door was locked but could be opened by sliding your student identification card, given your card was set up with permission to enter. As a varsity athlete I had access to a number of these types of doors in the sports complex, so in sliding my card I was not too surprised when the door opened. The door unlocked and I entered. I walked down a narrow case of stairs and found myself in a large subterranean room filled with fantastic weight training equipment; the room became a quiet retreat I could escape to, to grow and better myself as an athlete. The thing about all doors is that they lead somewhere; and concerning the doors in our mind that say no entry, if you possess the cognitive faculties to create a door, also know you possess the faculty to realize what doors are for. If the doors our mind creates really mean no entry they would be walls, not doors.

We tell ourselves we’re not the right person for something, we often talk ourselves out of doing things because we don’t feel like we qualify enough. It’s almost like walking down the same hallway every day of your life, getting to a door that says no entry, and turning back. You can see that there’s not much meaning in walking up and down this long hallway every day, and you’re pretty sure there’s something beyond that door, but you read the sign, believe it, and don’t bother to check if the door opens for you. Our mind does this to us, imposing a limitation on just how far we let ourselves think about our abilities. But it behooves us to remember that if the doors we encounter in our head really meant no entry, our mind would have made a wall, not a door.

For example, often all that stands between us and success is a door of opportunity we’ve yet to pass through. Most of the time all it takes to pass through and into success is to disregard the assertion on the door that tells you that you can’t enter. More often then you might expect, success is unlocked. But when the door appears locked, the key to unlocking it is somewhere in yourself already. It’s about believing, internally, that you already possess what it takes to unlock your opportunities; otherwise your mind wouldn’t have bothered creating a door with a lock. And just like a real lock needs a key that corresponds to a specific system of tumblers, the locks our mind creates have a correspondent key. If I put lock on a door in my mind, it corresponds directly to something I possess which perfectly marries to the system of tumblers I’ve designated to that impasse. If the locks I put on a door are meant to keep out the weak, unintelligent, uncreative, etc. then I must be able to become strong enough, smart enough or creative enough to gain entry.

I work with athletes who aspire to play their sport at the college and professional level. At times the only thing holding back a particular athlete is a self-imposed belief (a door). They’ll say something like, “I can’t jump that high” or “I can’t run that fast.” They consistently come across theses specific doors, and because they believe the signs denying them access, they turn back. More often than not, if I can convince an athlete to just walk into the a space to be better than they have ever been, they crash through the door and discover they already have everything it takes to jump higher or run faster than they originally thought they could. Other times, an athlete’s belief about what they can’t do is so locked in that they lock themselves out. They don’t believe they can pass through the door they’ve made for themselves unless they find a way to unlock it. With these athletes it takes showing them in small ways that they have everything it takes to unlock new realities for themselves. Maybe the key to passing into higher jumping and faster sprinting for them is learning that they are capable of improving, or even working hard enough to improve. Often it’s not that an athlete only believes they aren’t good enough to achieve something, but they also believe that they can never become good enough to eventually achieve something. The becoming in these circumstances ends up being the key to being what they need in order to achieve what they want to achieve.

Our minds are incredibly adept at imposing doors, locks and walls to prevent us from achieving what we want to achieve. But if our minds are capable of creating these metaphysical structures to corral us into the safety of familiarity, they are equally capable of breaking them down and opening exciting new realities for us.

The trick to navigating through the doors in your mind is to ask yourself what the door is telling you about yourself. Do you really believe that? If you don’t, don’t pay attention to the signs keeping you from entering new thoughts about yourself.

The key to unlocking the doors in your mind is to ask yourself what it would take to overcome the impasse your mind has created. Most locks our mind makes come with an “if only” clause. “If only I were a little bit better, I could be what I want to be.” Find out what the “if only” is, and then ask yourself, what would it take? If you’re capable of imagining what it would take to get through the doors in your life, you’re also capable of imagining a process to possess everything you need to make your way through those doors.

The method to dismantling the walls you build up for yourself is to ask yourself what the walls are really blockading. What is the wall keeping you from? It’s important to know this because maybe what the wall is keeping you from is something you actually want in your life, rather than something you don’t want. Walls are usually built by heavy beliefs that we pile up between us and something else; bad walls are built up by false beliefs keeping us from the things we want. If building these bad walls happen by piling up false beliefs, dismantling a wall means going brick by brick and asking if that belief is still true.

If you understand all this you can create a system of logical rules for yourself to help you navigate the complexities of an obstacle ridden mind. In our minds all paths of thought lead to doors. All doors lead somewhere, otherwise our mind would have made walls. Every door our mind makes is unlocked, unless, of course we lock it; but then, every lock has a key. If our minds possesses the ability make a door, it possesses the ability to make a way. If our mind possesses the ability to lock a door, it possess within itself the key. And it may help to remember that even if our minds have bothered to build a wall, by the same strength it mustered to build, it can certainly dismantle. The way beyond the obstacles that our mind creates, is to create a way with our mind.

My sister is the proud mother of a beautiful and spunky little one year old. She, in many ways, is one of a kind with her dynamic and colourful outspokenness (even if it’s a limited vocabulary), her bright and cheery disposition, and her fantastic sense of humour.

In many ways I can see my sister’s personality completely pouring out of this wonderful little person, while at times you can see my brother in law’s contribution being strongly expressed. At times she surprises us all with something that is neither my sister or her hubby, but unique to her and her alone.

When a baby is born, I feel like half the fun is trying to figure out who this tiny human is going to become. It’s easy to get excited about what makes the little ones in our lives so special, or even exceptional. My sister is actually super good about not being the overly proud mother, but in fairness it may be because grandma (my mom) has completely absorbed that responsibility in it’s entirely. seriously; there is no more room for any of us to be proud, my mum reserves sole rights to that and she defends her right competitively.

The things that make babies unique cause us to gush, but I would say we are equally enthralled with seeing babies doing things that all babies do; checkpoints, you might call them. Things like the first step, or the first word are obvious biggies we look forward to. I think we also look forward to or anticipate developmental phases like the “everything goes in the mouth” phase; or the “share/hoard everything” phase; or the dreaded “why?” phase.

One of the ones I was fortunate enough to experience with my little niece was the “again” phase. The “again” phase is that phase that just doesn’t quit; it takes years to grow out of. But it’s in this phase that kids develop preferences, and benefit cognitively from rehearsing something familiar over and over. It’s not a phase you want to skip over as caregiver, but it does certainly test your patience.

In my personal “again” phase I think I watched Free Willy, Land Before Time and The Neverending Story thousands of times each; we made my mom and dad play the Lion King soundtrack over and over in our van every time we hit the road; and to this day I still remember (and still own a copy of) my favourite children’s book “I’ll Love You Forever” that my mom used to read and sing to me almost every night.

With my niece I catch brief glimpses of her again phase. I make a silly voice, she wants to hear it again, and again. I make a funny face, she wants to see it again, and again. I read a story with her, she wants to do it again, and again from the start (only, in subsequent readings she holds the book and turns the pages; a very assertive little tyke).

I don’t know exactly when we grow out of the “again” phase. I can remember taking the same books out of the library again, and again. And then all of a sudden, picture-books became novels; novels were more challenging to read through again and again. So I eventually would take out one book, read it, and then likely never read it again. I had a hard time focusing the whole way through a novel. I would break it up into chapters, but found it tough to even read the whole way through a chapter. Once done a book, shoot, even a chapter, I didn’t want to go back and read it again, even if I had enjoyed it.

I think about these two phases of life, the “again” phase and the “ok, that’s enough” phase, and I can’t help but cnsider how we metaphorically define stages of life as chapters. When we’re little, the events in our life are simple, fun and thus, enjoyable. Just imagine a kid at a playground; he’s slid down the same slide hundreds of times before, but the simple exhilaration of the exact same slide warrants taking it again, and again. Early life, therefore, must be a lot like picture books; palatable, stimulating, simple, entertaining. In those early years we don’t mind “again, and again.” As we age, however, we enter into the chapter book phase of our lives, where we can’t get through chapters fast enough, and certainly can’t be bothered to go back and re-read a chapter. After that stage, then what happens to us? Do we keep hurdling through chapters?

Well, stepping out of the metaphor for a moment to examine it more literally, reading becomes less and less something we do for enjoyment as we get older, and more because it is something either assigned to us, or something we need to know in order to do something we want to do. We get assigned several books to read for high school english classes that we need to read in order to get the grade we want. Then we may stop reading altogether as a means of entertainment, as we transition to higher learning; I remember in college I learned to read only what I had to read in order to get my degree. And in this phase of my life, I actually took what might be considered a step back into the “again” phase. Almost regressively we venture back into the rehearsal that developed our blossoming minds in infancy, and employ the same tactic to study for courses in adulthood.

But when you’ve studied the material and you’ve passed all the tests (as I now have) a part of you wants to go back to what you rehearsed so vehemently to read it for the first time with eyes that will see it for all of the enjoyment you missed initially. I’ve begun to dig out old text-books and assigned readings and thumb through the pages as I reinvigorate the passion I’ve always had for the content, but never really fostered. This has led me to look into other books, that were never assigned, and begin to read them to continue kindling that passion. I’ve come to a place in life where I really do enjoy reading again; and sometimes even enough to read the same book again, and again.

Re-entering the metaphor we began to build earlier, I wonder what happens when we get to “chapters” in our life that we only just needed to get through in order to complete the assignment. Some of these chapters are so dense that we’re surprised at ourselves when we get the chance to move onto something new.

Football had been a dense and enriching chapter in my life, but when I encountered some tough medical challenges, as a result of having played football, I felt as though I was just pressing to get through that chapter and finally close it. I’ve opened and closed other chapters in my life since, but I now feel as though I’m at that stage where I want to go back and take a look at some of the “content” I might have rushed through. As I skim through the memories I have of the football chapter, I feel like it could be so easy, even today, to re-open that chapter. Part of me would love to play again. But wouldn’t I just be re-reading a chapter that would eventually end the same way? having to give football up? I don’t know if it’s a chapter worth re-opening.

But the temptations to go back and take a look surround me. In many ways I feel like I’ve regressed all the way back to infancy and internally I can hear the child in me crying out, “again! again! again!” I want all the simplicity, palatability, stimulation and entertainment I got from that story in my life.

But the problem with the metaphor is that life isn’t like the developmental phases we go through as young readers. We don’t graduate from children’s books, to novels, to text books in the same way. The internal flaw in the metaphor is that life isn’t about a series of stories, or the accruement of knowledge as you traverse from one phase to the next; life is one story, with many chapters, and as long as you are still breathing today, the story isn’t over yet.

To want to re-open a chapter you’ve once closed is to stall the story. You can’t continually be living in chapter 5 when your life is on the verge of chapter 10; it belittles what you went through in chapters 6 through 9. Furthermore, the longer you spend wanting to hash out chapter 5 again and again, the longer you keep yourself from experiencing chapter 10, 11, 12, all the way to whatever chapter your story ends on.

If my story has been stagnating at all, it has been because I haven’t taken my finger out from the pages where it’s holding my place back in chapter 5. I keep fumbling with the story as I awkwardly try to keep my place in an old chapter while thumbing through chapters that keep coming. My mind is still stuck in a chapter that has long since been closed and like a child I keep thinking it’ll give me the same simple stimulation that other picture books used to offer… but that chapter was no picture book; it was a dense story with a lot of twists, challenges, trials and difficulties. It won’t be the story I want to live again, and even if it were, it would rob me from getting to really enjoy what the next chapter holds for my life.

Maybe you’re like me, and maybe you’re not. Regardless, there are chapters in life that have exhausted their ability to stimulate and teach us. And there comes a point where you must decide for yourself whether or not you take what you’ve learnt from one chapter to allow it to enrich the chapters to come. After all, as for chapters that have passed, the sole purpose in a pragmatic sense is that they enrich our experience of chapters to come. That’s not to say that because of their enriching value we ought continually re-read those initial chapters. It’s to say that once those chapters have been read, they ought to serve as a foreshadow of the amazing story yet to come.

You are the character in an epic. Your character develops and shapes with each turning page. The aspects of your story that have made you into who you are today are carried in your character. The remainder of your story will be viewed from the perspective of where your character has been from the opening pages to the page you are in the process of living. While it doesn’t serve me well to re-open a chapter now closed, that chapter will ever influence the character who traverses the pages to come.

What I’ve come to discover in acknowledging these simple truths is how much of a page turner I’m immersed in. My hope for you is you would become equally enthralled with what’s yet to come in your own story.

When you’re lost, don’t pray for direction, pray for leadership. The destination will never help in finding your way; it only serves as a point of orientation reminding you of how lost you still are. Only a leader can show you the way. What you will discover with each passing step is that your journey is not one destination, but a series of destinations that are but a stride-length apart from one another. This is why His Word says, “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.” Prov16:9, “A person’s steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand their own way?” Prov20:24, and, “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.'” Isa30:21. It’s not about where our life is going, it’s about where our next step must fall in order to get there; we will never cease in needing his step by step leadership over our lives.

When I got out of bed this morning, I didn’t have to ensure that I was anchored to the floor; neither did I have to slide on special weighted slippers. When I left my house, I didn’t even think twice about whether or not I would stick to the ground.

No one fears falling up. Not a single person is ever concerned with the possibility that gravity will stop working on this planet, or that we’ll begin separating from the surface, and somehow float up and up until we disappear from sight. We worry about falling down; that’s normal.

Some of us, when up high, like a tall building or high spanning bridge, get nervous about heights. It’s not the altitude we’re at, of course; it’s the possibility of falling a greater distance. If you feel compelled to argue that it truly is the altitude, then why can someone have a fear of heights but not stress about roaming the streets of Denver? It’s much higher than sea level and yet walking around in Denver doesn’t stress us out. It’s not altitude that bugs us- it’s the fear of falling.

But as I’ve already mentioned, it seems to be reserved to the fear of falling down, not up. We never doubt that gravity will do its job. Some of us that have a fear of heights (a fear of falling from heights) are so convinced of the power of gravity that the concept of boarding a passenger-brick-with-wings and commuting from one side of the country to another is ridiculous. To those of us who fly frequently, we’ve tested a plane’s ability to defy gravity enough that we trust planes to consistently allow us to safely leave the earth’s surface.

And yet even though a plane can defy gravity, we don’t feel the compulsion to weigh anchor with a plane, as if it will magically float adrift on us like a boat in open water. That’s because most of us have a solid understanding that planes must overcome gravity’s force using a variety of opposing forces in order to get off the ground. When a plane isn’t exerting these forces, gravity wins: no holds bar.

We intrinsically know that whatever goes up, must come down; we learn this within the first few times that we throw something up, only to see it come crashing back down. Now, with this said, our young minds were no doubt perplexed when we let go of our first helium balloon and watched it float out of sight. But even a balloon filled with helium will eventually come back down, whether we see it do so or not. In fact, helium, as a gas, can only rise on its own into the atmosphere to a certain limit before earth’s gravity holds it within the atmosphere.

Gravity effects everything on this planet, regardless of mass. Galileo proved in the famous Tower of Pisa experiment that gravity works on objects of different mass at the same rate. So when we see cartoons with characters who, when holding something like an anvil, are accelerating faster, it actually does us a disservice in our understanding of gravity: more mass doesn’t necessarily equal more acceleration.

The point I’m getting at is that as a force, gravity controls so many of the things we that we take for granted. Gravity is responsible for the length of our days and years. It is responsible for our seasonal changes. It governs tidal changes. Gravity is what allows us to experience rainfall. It provides us with a liveable atmosphere. Gravity has such a significant role on so many things, that without gravity we wouldn’t be alive today.

But we never fear that it will fail us. You never see someone loading their shoulders with more weight to ensure that they are heavy enough to stick to the earth’s surface. By throwing weight on your shoulders you’ve done nothing to increase the gravitational effect on you, all you’ve done is increased the amount of force you need to exert to deal with the increase in mass you’ve taken on. Therefore, the more weight you carry doesn’t mean an increase in gravity, it only means there is an increased demand for the work you must do.

This all seem blatantly obvious when talking about Gravity. But what about another invisible force, even greater than gravity?

What about faith?

In the same way that gravity is the force acting on us to remain grounded on this planet, faith in God is the force acting on us to remain grounded in God. The moment we believe in God is the moment God’s faithfulness and our faith are united in this unstoppable force. In fact, having faith in God is so great a force that to try to distance yourself from him is, in effect, the same thing as trying to overcome gravity: you need to exert tremendous amounts of opposing force to separate yourself. Don’t we often see this in people who choose not to believe in God? They must expend fantastic amounts of energy to prove that he doesn’t exist; and the amazing thing is, no matter what scientific effort is put forth, humans will never cease to discover that God is unsearchable. At the end of every search from God you realize the unsearchability of it all is God. Those who try earnestly not to believe must convince themselves of radical belief-sets to ensure their steadfast belief that there is no God. They must try with all their might to reduce complex human experiences like love down to a set of neurological and chemical processes in the human body. They must labor at length to explain the miraculous, and when it can’t be explained they labor at lengths defending the “we just don’t understand it yet” argument. People trying to separate themselves from God may indeed think they are separate from him, and yet there is no human argument possible to completely leave the “gravitational” reality of God’s magnitude. While humans have found ways to escape earths gravity by exerting just enough force to get us to outer space, with God there simply is no outer space to get to.

And while some of us are striving tirelessly to escape the pull faith has on us spiritually, others of us have erred in the opposite direction. None of us fear falling up with Gravity, yet some of the most religious people out there have this irrational fear of floating away from God- despite this incredible force holding us to him. And our fear causes us to do the most irrational things to “bolster” the force of faith in our lives. Like a person trying to increase the force of gravity by carrying more weight, we spiritually try burdening ourselves with church-going, bible-reading, prayer, and other christian practices, thinking that these activities will add enough weight to our faith to keep us close to God. But just like adding weight to increase gravity only really increases the work you must do, so does adding “weight” to increase “spirituality” only really increase the works you’ve done. And just like adding needless weight will eventually crush you, believing that the weight of your works will bring you closer to God will eventually crush you as well.

We must trust, at the end of the day, that by faith and faith alone we are justified. Faith in God will hold us to him. These actions just aren’t the anchor we should be depending on to keep us close to him. He is the anchor; he is the rock.

So then what are we to think of going to church and reading the bible and remaining disciplined in spiritual practices? If they don’t keep us close to God what do they do?

By adding these to our lives, the parallel remains the same as that we have used with gravity. We don’t carry more weight to hold us to the ground, but when do we carry more weight, to end do we find such practice being advantageous?

To those of you who know me personally, you know that I can be found at least once a day loading a barbell with weight so that I can lift it. Am I fearful I’m going to just float away? of course not. I lift weight to get stronger. Because I load my muscles to strengthen them, I can accomplish things that others effected by gravity can’t. It doesn’t change my relationship with Gravity, it permits me to engage with gravitational forces differently.

In the same way, we add church, prayer, scripture, and other disciplines to our life, not to keep us closer to God, but to strengthen us. It doesn’t increase or decrease our relationship with him. The force of our faith in his love is unchanging. But these “works” do offer us is a chance to strengthen ourselves. Since we are held by faith in God, to God, in what ways can we be trained spiritually to engage with this awesome faith in new ways?

If I never did squats, I might only ever be able to jump 20-some-odd-inches, but I could still jump. Because I have worked with heavier and heavier loads in my squats I am capable of jumping 30-some-odd-inches. The ability to jump higher doesn’t mean much on its own, but immersed in something practical, like basketball, it means I can enjoy playing a game more. Because I jump higher than most, I can dunk; and given that my jump-shot is about 10% effective from anywhere in the field, the ability to dunk adds value to my game by enabling me to score in a way that compensates for a way I struggle in.

If I never read my Bible, I might only ever be able to recite familiar sayings from scripture, but in the very least I would know some truths about God because of the faith I have in him. But because I read my Bible regularly, I know so many more truths and intricacies about God, even though my faith hasn’t increased. I believe in him because he exists. I don’t believe in him more because I can recite more Biblical truths about him. And the ability to know more truths about God doesn’t mean much on its own, but immersed in something practical, like missions, it means I can enjoy that field even more. Because I know the Word more intimately I can live out my beliefs more lovingly. And given that my ability to memorize scripture is even worse than my jump-shot, the ability to apply Biblical truths in the way I live adds value to living missionally in a way that compensates for my inability to memorize verses.

In Ephesians and James we find what seems to be a competing thoughts on faith and works. Traditionally we tend to think Ephesians is telling us to focus more on faith (This is backed up by a reading of Galatians 3, https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Galatians+3&version=NIV ). We also tend to think that James is arguing to focus more on works. What we’re failing to see is that each of the author’s audiences have erred in one way or the other, and both authors are working to correct this error to provide a more nuanced perspective of faith and works interwoven. Here’s what they say:

8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9not by works, so that no one can boast. 10For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:8-10)

14What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? 15Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. 16If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?17In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

18But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.”

Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. 19You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.

20You foolish person, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless^d ? 21Was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? 22You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. 23And the scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,”^e and he was called God’s friend. 24You see that a person is considered righteous by what they do and not by faith alone. (James 2:14-24)

Even just reading them now you can feel that the tone of one leans heavily to faith over works, while the other leans heavily to works over faith. But looking more carefully can you see that in Ephesians the passage ensures that it’s reader knows that works are meant to be had in that we have been “prepared for good works.” In the James passage we see that it’s works by faith, rather than faith alone. It’s both-and, not either-or. While works won’t increase the grace or the faith you have, a faith without working it out is one that’s “dead.”

You might be thinking, “What what do you mean? I thought you just said works doesn’t effect the quality or capacity of my faith.” And it doesn’t; but just because gravity is acting on your body does it mean you are able to walk? No. It takes training as an infant to develop the strength to work within the laws of gravity, in order to walk. If we never did any work at all within the context of gravity, we wouldn’t be able to move. If we aren’t able to move at all is that not, in some way, a form of being dead? And it’s the same with faith. Faith is a powerful belief in God, but if you don’t exercise within the context of faith and engage your faith, aren’t you just as “dead?” The reality is you need both. I can’t develop strength if gravity doesn’t act on the weights that I move. I equally can’t develop strength if I choose not to move the weights at all. I need to test myself within the force of gravity constantly in order to develop strength and functionality within a world of gravitational force.

In the same way I need faith to hold me to God, and ways to exercise my faith. The exercises I do help me understand how faith acts on my spirit and enables me to discipline myself to work within the power of that faith to do some pretty incredible things. But in order to make the force of faith come alive in my life, I need to engage in activities that test my faith. The Epistle of James also states:

2Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^a whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4)

We have this fantastic opportunity to train this incredible force in our lives to do wonderful things for the Glory of God. When we engage with works oriented living, we need to remember what it truly is that we are doing. We’re not improving our faith connection to God, we’re bulking up our potential to be active in our faith.

One of the great spiritual fears I hear regularly is the fear of falling away, and to that I say if the thought of tying an anchor around your waist to keep you from floating away seems ridiculous to you because of your belief in gravity, how much more ridiculous is it to think that the greatest force in the universe can’t hold you? Your ability to overcome the crushing sense of having to carry your religion will become less burdensome, to the extent that you understand and believe in the magnitude of God’s pull on your life. You must change your perspective of works of faith from that which keeps you grounded, to that which can keep you growing.

My prayer is that those who are spiritually exhausted by religiosity will benefit from the relief of knowing God is doing the work to hold you to him- by grace which you received on faith. And I also pray that you will come to enjoy exercising and practicing your faith as you test it each day, becoming more complete, and lacking in nothing.

We had been driving down the I-5 toward California for hours. That morning we had left before the sun came up. At that time of the day, when you’re pumped for the road-trip ahead, your senses become so much more attuned to everything around you. Coffee tastes better; the air smells fresher; the crunch of pebbles beneath your shoes sounds almost orchestral against a near perfect stillness; the steering wheel has cooled overnight and your grip on it feels strong; the engine hums to life as your car, full of gas from prudently topping it off the night before, almost feels as though it is galloping on completely vacant roads.

But we had been driving down the I-5 toward California for hours; my senses had grown exhausted. Over the course of hours we had sung through multiple playlists, played at least three alphabet games in two different ways (word’s starting with a letter, word’s ending with a letter), sprung in and out of random conversations, and also endured (I endured) bouts of silence (as my co-pilot hunkered down for multiple naps). When you have been up since the wee hours of the morning and your senses become exhausted, you forget what time it is and your body does a poor job giving you hints. Hunger was lurking the recesses of my stomach waiting to pounce on me at an inopportune moment between valuable restaurant-yielding exits on a long stretch of nothingness.

Hunger is a problem for me. In recent years the word Hanger has become popular, but hanger was a regular part of my vernacular way before TV commercials popularized it. I used to get ferociously hangry. When I was younger I didn’t understand why my mood would become so poor on longer trips. My family would watch me become my worst self, and then instantly bounce back into a much calmer and collected self moments after gorging down heaps of food. In fact, I think it was my sister who first called it to my attention during a small hanger-rage. Everyone in my family looked at her in scorn as if they had been keeping this a secret from me my whole life. They looked desperately at one another as if it had been an object of their collective and individual preparation before each family trip to know and account for the inevitable hanger-tantrum I would have. I looked at the faces of each of my family members in that moment, as each one looked back at me with that annoying “pleasant” look that people use when they are expecting the worst but hoping for the best. I couldn’t help but laugh. I was in my early teens at this point and said, “No one thought to bring this to my attention til’ now! How many trips have you guys suffered the wrath of my hunger?” We all laughed at it as they explained how bad I get and what some of my “tells” are and when they know I’ve gone from hungry to hangry. I was astonished that this had been a reality to them for so long and I had never known. Being the problem solver I am, I proposed, “why wouldn’t you just pack snack just in case I get hungry? If you knew I was going to get hungry and that was gonna make me moody, why not prepare?” to which my dad responded, “Because we’re expecting you to grow out of it; you should be able to control your responses better and shouldn’t need us to tend to your moods that way.” It made sense. It seemed silly that for year after year I would hold my family hostage as I threw minor tantrums due to being hungry. Why couldn’t I just deal with it and patiently wait?

It turns out there is a scientific explanation for why segments of the population experience Hanger. You can read more about it a recent article on the matter found at the following link if you are plagued by the “syndrome” as well:

http://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/science-hangry-or-why-some-people-get-grumpy-when-they-re-hungry

But that is beside the point, although the context is much needed for this current moment in our story, as it does lead us to a new development. We had been driving down the I-5 toward California for hours, and I was hungry. I didn’t realize I had grown hungry. It sprung on my quickly without notice, and by the time I was within it’s clutches it was too late. Just then my girlfriend inopportunely woke up (inopportunely for her). Seeing this, I immediately became aware that she normally keeps track of my growing hunger. She’s normally really good about making sure it doesn’t get this bad, but look; asleep on the job. This was her fault. I knew one of my options was to impulsively tear out her treasonous soul for the cruel act of betrayal, but a much more responsible and choice might be to manage my internal rage and try to move forward cooly. “Sweetie, I’m feeling a little hungry, do you have anything your purse?” I gently asked. I was so hungry I could almost taste the beads of sweat forming on her brow as she realized that she had let me get hungry. She frantically searched through her purse and her bag. I heard the crackle of a wrapper and my heart lept with sudden relief, then sank as I watched her try and muffle the noise from my periphery. “Sweetie, do you have a bar or something?” I said calm and cooly.

“I did. But I ate it before I took my nap. I’m so sorry baby, maybe we can pull off at the next exit and run in and get a snack for you!? I bet there’s a restaurant near here! We can stop for lunch!” She never gushes this much; I could tell my hanger was making her nervous.

I took a deep breath, collected the last ounces of my calmest self and broke the tragic news to her that we were in the middle of nowhere, and that finding a good exit would be tough.

When you’re as hungry as I had become you have options– just not the ability to consider them. Sitting here now, well fed and very satisfied, I have much more perspective. Even if I didn’t have food in my belly in this moment, the possibility of getting up from where I am sitting and getting food has a high likelihood of success; so it wouldn’t trouble me to be hungry sitting here. But when you are hungry and getting what you need isn’t a certain thing, it is very troubling. When you aren’t sure about when you are going to satisfy the hunger, it brings out strange responses that you can’t possibly prepare for. No one thinks so far ahead as to know what they will do and how they will do it when necessity strikes. Those in that situation rarely experience it or choose to experience it freely to adequately prepare for the realities of necessity. When necessity strikes, when hunger is great, the response is unpredictable.

There are times in life when getting your next snack isn’t the greatest necessity you are facing, but the hunger you experience is still great. Those who have played sports know what it feels like to be behind in a game, after leading for most of it; it makes you hungry. Or maybe it’s a team you are hoping to make; you’re hungry. Or maybe it’s a season you trying to win; you’re hungry. Maybe it’s business related. Those climbing the corporate ladder know what it means to be hungry. It’s the feeling of chasing that promotion; or that raise; or even that bonus; you’re hungry. Whatever the goal may be there are two competing entities in the realization of that goal; they are the only two possible outcomes. You either will achieve what you set out for, or you won’t.

The problem that you are faced with is that you can only be certain of what you can control; and if what is in your control are actions you expect will bring you to the desired outcome then you are really left with only a certain degree of certainty. But what if you aren’t sure that what you are doing will get you to the desired outcome. I guess you might also inversely have a level of control over the undesired outcome. You know that by doing nothing the undesired outcome is a guarantee, so in order to avoid the undesired outcome you must do something. But what if you aren’t sure if the something you are doing is enough to avoid the undesired outcome. While driving the I-5 my girlfriend and I could really only control whether or not we saw the right exit and capitalized on the opportunity to satisfy my hunger. In trying to get the desired outcome, the snack, what if keeping an eye out wasn’t enough? What about exits that weren’t well marked? Or exits that may have had food but couldn’t guarantee that I could find my way back to I-5? And what about avoiding the undesired outcome: never getting a snack? I could be sure I would never get a snack if I didn’t drive anywhere, so in the very least I was driving somewhere. But what if driving somewhere wasn’t going to lead anywhere? What if the car broke down?

The issue with all goals we hunger after is there is always a level of uncertainty. Without uncertainty it’s hardly a goal, and might better be called a “task.” A task is something you know you can do; a goal is something you hope you can do.

And then what can be said about the things you can’t control? What about all of the ‘what ifs?’ What if the refs don’t call the game our way? What if my boss never sees how productive I am? What if my teammates don’t play up to the level we need to win? What if my co-workers are achieving more than me? What if we forget the plays we practiced? What if this extra work I’m doing is in vain? What if we just aren’t as talented as the other teams? What if the company goes bankrupt, and the 20 years I’ve put in go to waste? What if we never win? What if I never succeed?

As we continued down the I-5 the silence was deafening and time crept slowly. We were both intensely focused on finding a place to subdue the ever-growing hunger inside of me. My patience was growing thin. I was losing focus on what mattered and my hanger was taking over. When hunger becomes hanger I enter into a state of desperation. I say things I don’t mean; things that won’t make a difference in my current circumstance at all. I don’t think straight and start making decisions that do more harm than help.

We had driven an hour or so with no indication we were ever going to find an exit with food, and then suddenly we came over a hill and saw a small city just ahead of us. I was really hungry at this point, so I wasn’t thinking clearly. I drove past the first good exit. “Why didn’t you take that exit, there was going to be food there?” my girlfriend asked. “I wasn’t sure if it would be an easy off, easy on exit,” I said, barreling forward toward the next one. As we drew near, the exit sign showed a number of restaurants on it and I could see that it was an easy exit to get off the I-5 and right back on afterward. I passed it too. “Sweetie! how come you passed that one! Didn’t you see, it was perfect!” she exclaimed. “Ya but sweetie, you’re not gonna eat any of that food. You don’t like fast-food” I justified to her. At this point I was so hangry and trying so hard to do the right thing I didn’t realize how little it mattered what kind of food we got compared to how much it made my girlfriend uncomfortable to be in a car with Mr. Hyde. There were only two more exits and I missed them both. “This is just too small a city baby,” I said, “we’re really close to the next big city, I can hold off til’ then.” She sat uncomfortably in silence as I became angry at other drivers around me, frustrated with poor signage along the I-5, and annoyed with our inability to find a decent radio station.

Finally I realized that being upset and irrational about things wasn’t making me less hungry, and worse yet, it wasn’t making this drive a very enjoyable experience for my passenger. I was bringing her down with me. The moment I saw an opportunity to do so, I took the next exit. The exit we took had a 7/11 and we loaded up on snacks for the next leg of the journey. I ate. I prepared for needing to eat again soon; but didn’t eat so much that I wouldn’t be able to enjoy a real meal later that day.

I think there’s something to be said about getting to such a low that you accomplish a newfound clarity:

1. I wasn’t solving anything acting out of thoughtless desperation.
2. I wasn’t accomplishing anything acting without thoughtful preparation.

It seems obvious in the situation I’ve just outlined, but it may not be so obvious to recognize that when we hunger for life-goals, these same two principles apply. You can’t let yourself get so hungry that you starve; those who are starving for their goal act desperately. The inverse is also true though; you can’t eat so much that you lose the hunger entirely. It takes thoughtful preparation to eat, but not too much, so that you stay hungry enough to chase your goal. It’s a balance of feeding yourself enough to keep from being desperate, but withholding enough to keep on being hungry. You need energy and hunger to chase the goal. Never did I focus as hard or drive as well as I did when I was hungry and determined to get my snack. But when I got desperate I didn’t think straight. And earlier that day, when I wasn’t very hungry, I was prudent enough eat and keep myself from getting too hungry. I needed the energy from well-planned snacks to get me to my next meal.

When chasing a goal in life it’s the same. Get too hungry and you’ll do foolish things. You’ll make careless mistakes. Your desire will be your detriment. Don’t feed yourself enough along the way to your goal, and you’ll be setting yourself up for failure.

So then how to you keep yourself fed and hungry? The art of staying hungry and keeping fed is in celebrating moments that remind you what you are chasing in the first place. When I want food, I need food to appetize me while I wait for the real meal. When I want a win, I need smaller victories to appetize me while I wait for the real win. When I want a promotion, I need smaller affirmations to appetize me while I wait for the real promotion. Winners are in the habit of winning; so they need to practice winning. Those deserving of promotions need to be in the business of promoting their own affirmation worthy behaviour; so they need to practice being promotion-worthy.

When I have an appetizer before my meal, I haven’t satisfied my hunger; that’s not the point of an appetizer. The point is the tide me over until the real dish is served. I won’t truly be satisfied until I’ve had my fill of the main course, but my dinner experience might not be as enjoyable if I have to wait without food until the main course arrives.

Likewise, a win, or a promotion is not something you feel satisfied with until it happens. And if you are waiting for it to happen your hunger will become desperate. You’ve got to taste victory, affirmation, and success time and time again before you sink your teeth into it and truly become satisfied with that experience.

I played football, so that example is an easy one to draw on. In games that I wanted to win (and that was every game) I learned I wasn’t going to enjoy victory until I got very good at tasting victory throughout the game. At first it was easy enough to savour my personal victories and still get a chance to enjoy a team win. But as teams we played became tougher and tougher to beat, I quickly discovered I needed to learn to savour team victories as well. I needed to celebrate the quality of the blocking up front; and celebrate the success of the defence; and celebrate moments others on my team scaled major mountains through the game, regardless of whether that was just being onside for a whole drive, or making a touchdown saving tackle. The more I learned to appetize myself with the smaller victories throughout the game, the more I enjoyed the win. But the strangest thing happened in some of the games I played in. I ended up “spoiling my appetite” on more than one occasion. There were certain games we celebrated so much that we assumed victory before actually confirming it, letting teams creep back into the game. The year we won the championship we went undefeated and often beat teams handily in the first half, allowing many of the starters to relax in the second half while the backups got a chance to develop. The first few times this happened we took our lead for granted and the backups needed us to come back into the game to re-secure the victory. We spoiled our appetite for victory in those games by not letting ourselves stay a little hungry. In games that followed we would get ahead by a lot, and when the back ups went in we learned to celebrate their victories too and reminded them to stay hungry and keep chasing the win. In team environments, we learnt, that it’s never just the hunger of one individual but the collective hunger of the team. And it needs to be managed well by all parts involved.

Of course, before that perfect season, we lost a game or two. And I remember that in some of the games that got away from us we went from wanting to win, to trying to win, to trying not to lose. You can never win when your mind is completely consumed with losing, even if those thoughts are to avoid losing. In desperation our team would collapse into irrational play. We would try pie-in-the-sky plays; individual players attempted to be the sole saviour of the game; we criticized one another; we got down on ourselves; and we were careless with penalties.

Desperation never wins the game the way preparation can.

And so it is will all things we hunger for. The most desperate people will to do the most wild and unsuccessful things. Their hunger has overcome them in a way that keeps them from remembering what was so important about what they were hungering after in the first place. Satisfaction goes the one who eats. And the truest satisfaction goes to the one who eats often enough to keep going, but seldom enough to keep hungry. It’s a balance of having what it takes, to take what you want.

The outcome may still remain uncertain. That’s the nature of chasing a goal. But at the end of the day, in spite of all of the uncertainty, we are left with three choices:

To be Spoiled, Starving, or Satisfied.

Satisfaction goes to the one who eats.

Often enough to keep going. Seldom enough to keep hungry.

At times when you walk the streets of a large city you’ll suddenly find yourself turned around. You pay little attention to key land marks or road names, and every building begins to look the same as each passing steel, glass, and concrete structure begins to feel less like the walls of various city establishments, and more like an enclosure. The effect of this is magnified when you carelessly venture out into a foreign city; a place unfamiliar to you. Soon a place you wandered into begins to feel less like a city and more like a prison.

Sometimes this feeling is overwhelming; our heart races, our minds turn, our imaginations do us disservice. Fear, doubt, uncertainty grips us and renders us near-paralyzed.

One of the largest and worst cities to lay claim to many of its visitors by this crippling effect is hardly a city at all; and yet it is truly a foreign place, with no less real an enclosed feeling than any metropolis you may have ever found yourself in. The city I’m referring to, of course, is Adversity.

But it’s more than a clever play on a word. This seems to be the only city that is populated by every single human being on the planet; it is the easiest city to get lost in; and it seems to be the hardest city to escape. A life ventured even just a few steps outside ourselves destines us to become lost in Adversity.

It seems an insurmountable dilemma packed with hopelessness, but I’d like to argue for an alternative view; and it may not be the popular one. I’d like to propose that the reason this world, this city, feels so foreign to us is because we have always had an inward beckoning home unto a kingdom not of this world. A homesickness to be back where we belong. And while some of you may see where this is going, it may help to be blunt in indicating that the kingdom I am talking about is the kingdom of God.

In and of itself, half of you who are skeptical that there even is a God might dismiss the remainder of what I wish to say; and the other half might be thinking, “oh yes, good reminder; but there are only so many motivational verses I can stomach to remind me that this God who rules this kingdom that I supposedly come from has my back.” I can sympathize, and I’d even liken the sentiment to feeling less lost in a foreign country because you recited your national anthem. It’s silly, and I’m aware of that. Which is why I will suggest something different.

I am an advocate for employing my faith in finding direction when seemingly lost in Adversity. And while I do believe my way of employing my faith runs counterculture to the typical Christian-prosperity propaganda machine, I do see merit in rehearsing biblical truths and promises that inspire hope to remind one’s self of kingdom loyalties. But the faith I’m talking about extends past merely remembering home and longing to go back to be free from Adversity; it’s about remembering why we’re here in Adversity in the first place. A faith that elects to remember the right thing in the moment it finds itself in Adversity is a faith that will certainly be able to stand up in Adversity.

I’m talking about Vocation. See, I think many of us see this life as a vacation. We think we’re traveling here in this life for a time being, and while we’re here it is our vacation to experience life and God’s creation, and regardless of how things go, we’re going to put on a happy face, and be happy, because we’re on vacation. But we’re one key letter off: we’re on Vocation. And if we’re on vocation, then we’re here to do business. Getting lost in Adversity isn’t part of the nature of our stay.

In a vacation mindset, when you get lost in city you might ask the locals what to do; or try to encourage yourself with pleasantries to look forward to or focus on; or, if you must, you consult your trusty travel guide. In a spiritual vacation mindset, when you get lost in Adversity you do many of the same things: you ask others in Adversity what to do; you try and encourage yourself with the good; and then, if you must, you take a look at your trusty travel guide, the Bible.

In a Vocation mindset, your trip to the city is planned; and so if you get lost, you call the people who planned your trip, send for help, you check the itinerary, and because you must (not if you must), you consult your travel guide and preparation handbook to get you back on track. In a spiritual vocation mindset, if you get lost in Adversity you call on God, who planned your trip, and send for help if need-be; you check the itinerary or plan to see where you need to be, and by reminding yourself of the plan you regain focus; and because you must, you most definitely look in your travel and preparation guide, the Bible.

In a Vocation mindset, you’re not expecting the same things that you do when you’re operating from a vacation mindset; so you’re less surprised by what Adversity has to offer. Certainly, from a vacation mindset, you would be disappointed visiting Adversity. But from a Vocation mindset, your visit has a cause, purpose, and plan; your expectations of Adversity are realistic because you have prepared yourself.

So then what is the deciding factor, in whether we find ourselves in Adversity with a vacation mindset or a Vocation mindset? It’s in the beliefs you form about Adversity before you get there.

Let’s imagine I want to travel to the Amazon. If I only read travel guides that tell me about all the wonderful attractions and beautiful flora and fauna to see then my beliefs about the Amazon will be skewed, and I will undoubtedly lack the necessary preparation to visit. But if I read an accurate travel guide that suggests what medicine I should take and what dangers I should keep an eye out for, it won’t detract from the wonderful attractions the Amazon has to offer, but it will, in the very least, allow me to enjoy and endure respective elements the Amazon possesses.

I think as Christians the parts of the guide we’re reading are only revealing a portion of the picture. When we finally get to Adversity we lean heavy on promises like “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” “In all things God works for the good of those who love him,” and “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper…” which are valuable reminders, no doubt; but we forget a tremendous wealth of preparatory passages. These preparatory passages should give us the inclination that our trip to Adversity isn’t going to be a vacation, but a Vocation. It is the Word in its entirety that reminds us that since the dawn of humanity God’s been on a mission, and while we’re here in Adversity, we’re supposed to be a part of it. If you don’t believe that God’s kingdom is coming by the way of Adversity, just remind yourself that Heaven’s King visited Adversity in a more Vocational way than anyone else has.

As servants in His Kingdom, we are ambassadors called to take on Adversity, just as He did. We have been given a great preparation guide to equip us when we’re in Adversity; it can even serve as a guide when we get lost in Adversity.

Some of these great words God’s left to prepare us include:

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. (1 Peter 4:12)

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. (1 Corinthians 16:13)

make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 8For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. (2 Peter 1:5b-8)

7Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? 8If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. 9Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! 10They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. 11No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:7-11)

train yourself to be godly. 8For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. 9This is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance. 10That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Saviour of all people, and especially of those who believe. (1 Timothy 4:7b-10)

12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:12-14)

24Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. 27No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. (1 Corinthians 9:24-27)

Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life…  (1 Timothy 6:12a)

Please keep in mind, this isn’t the entire Word of God or even the crux of its message; but it is a side of the message that we tend to not pay much mind to. As you can see from the language used in these passages, we are as much called to participate in the the plan to overcome Adversity as we are to be encouraged by the truths that we serve a King who can, will and has overcome it himself. We are called to participate in the advance of God’s kingdom over Adversity. Words like train, discipline, effort, fight, courage, stand firm, compete, strain, strive, etc. give us the indication that this trip through Adversity is more than just a vacation; it’s a Vocation.

I recognize that it is much more common to point believers and unbelievers alike to the realities that God can deliver us from Adversity. But what if he is the one sending us into Adversity for a cause far greater than we could have imagined?

It’s all about perspective. When you’re lost in Adversity expecting a vacation, you can’t help but feel slighted when your expectations are left unsatisfied; but when you are in Adversity and your expectation is that it is a place that you have trained for, you’re willing to strive, strain, fight, and compete courageously as you welcome the challenge unreservedly.

I don’t want to simply encourage you with blissful and hopeful thoughts about overcoming Adversity. There are far too many places on the internet you can go to get that. From the context of His Word, I do, however, want to speak to you from the perspective of the One who may have actually sent you into Adversity: bite the bullet, suck it up, take you blows, and strike back.

There’s such great purpose in Adversity that you cannot afford to waste your time getting lost in it. Don’t wait for the walls to start closing in around you; remember why you’re there and act. Be courageous. God offers us salvation if we get in so deep we can’t find a way out; but he also offers us the opportunity to dive in and risk needing to be saved. What must that say about the amount of faith he has in you? If he’s willing to let you go into the thick of it, he must trust that you can take it. If he’s invited you to take it on, he must really see something in you. Not only that, he must really trust himself. If he’s willing to send the ones he loves into the fray, he must really trust in his ability to bail us out when we need him. I don’t know about you, but that’s a God I can get behind.

So what will it be: Vacation, or Vocation?

Adversity is waiting.